Seventeen Days

If I’m being honest, there are not a lot of things that I love about the next generation. For the most part, millennials get on my nerves. However, I had the best conversation with my daughter last night which reminded me that they aren’t so bad. During the conversation she told me that she had to have a tire replaced on her car. As it turns out she needed to have all four tires replaced and the bill came out to $800. She had the resources to take care of the car repair without putting it on a credit card. She just took care of it. At that moment, I flashed back to when I was 26. I was so irresponsible and had no idea how to manage money and I certainly didn’t have a savings account. I’m sur

Eighteen Days

It has taken me all of 40 years to understand what it takes to maintain a healthy romantic relationship—and I still don’t get it right all the time. Looking back, I think I made it much more difficult than it needed to be. I viewed each partner, not as a partner at all, but as someone who I was constantly competing with. It was exhausting. I was never taught how to be in a relationship and trust me, that is something that should be taught. When you are dealing with another person’s heart, you can’t go in all willy-nilly. I’ve told my story many times and I don’t feel the need to rehash it here. You all know I’ve been married and divorced twice. First, two a bigamist (RIP) and second to some

Nineteen Days

I am not afraid of confrontation. I don’t go looking for it, but I don’t run away from it either. When I was a young woman, I had not yet learned how to choose my battles. I did not know how decide which confrontation was worth my time and which confrontation wasn’t. As a young woman, I believed that winning arguments was my superpower. It was my way of staying strong. It was a defense mechanism. I had to have the last word every single time. Back then it was more important to be right than to be happy. I have terminated so many relationships over petty things that probably weren’t even worth arguing over. Thankfully, my experiences (and therapy) have given me some wisdom and I am grateful t

Twenty Days

I grew up in the Baptist church and I was always a member of the choir. First, in the youth choir and then with the adults. Being a choir member was an amazing experience from me. I loved it. I’m not a great singer, I’m not even a good singer but when all the voices come together, it is truly something special. There was a certain ritual that we went through as a choir member. Choir rehearsal was on Friday night and we would prepare every detail for Sunday morning. If we were learning a new song, the rehearsal would sometimes go long. Each part had to be perfect. On Sunday morning, the choir would gather in the Fellowship Hall and pray before service. Then we would line up in our robes and m

Twenty One Days

It is Saturday and I just came in from a 7-mile run. That makes 17 miles for this week and 57.5 miles for the month so far. Not bad. As I was finishing up, it dawned on me that in the ten years that I have been running I have never suffered a serious injury. Any injury for that matter. That is a real blessing. I am not the fastest runner and I have never run a full marathon. My first half marathon was also my last. I enjoy running. It is a great form of exercise, but I am not out here trying to break records and have long running streaks. I just want to be consistent and stay healthy. Right now, my exercise schedule is running on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday; I do a little strength and y

Twenty Two Days

It’s the end of another work week and I wish I had something to look forward to over the weekend. I generally enjoy weekends that are activity-free. Sometimes I just need to do nothing. However, because of COVID there has been an abundance of doing nothing. I’m over it. I’m looking forward to the day when I can sit in a restaurant and not worry about contracting a deadly virus. I don’t mind wearing my mask in the grocery store anymore as it has become second nature. I still haven’t gone back to the gym or restaurants. I’m back in church and I never stopped going to work. The vegetarian journey for me is now a thing. Meaning, it’s not even worth talking about because I don’t even think about

Twenty Three Days

First degree wanton endangerment. Excuse me, but what??? Wanton Endangerment is a Class D felony which carries a sentence of 1 to 5 years. But let’s be real, the cop who murdered Breonna Taylor will not serve a single day – assuming that he is even found guilty of this bullshit charge of wanton endangerment. So, the murderers who murdered Breonna Taylor will not even be charged with murder? This announcement was like murdering her all over again. This could have been my 26-year old daughter. I’m sick. I’m tired. As I journey to 56, I am reminded of how exhausting it is to be Black in America.

Twenty Four Days

One of the inadvertent benefits of becoming a vegetarian is that I lost 3 pounds in a month. If I lose another 3 pounds this month than I will reach my goal weight by my birthday. Once a woman reaches a certain age, weight loss can be tricky. It is so easy to put on weight and so difficult to get rid of it. The funny thing is, in my wildest dreams I never would have thought that I would have an issue with my weight. Let me start off by saying that I am not overweight. I don’t have an unhealthy view of my weight. It’s just that the number that I see on the scale is sometimes shocking – which is why I recommend to my clients to stay off the scale! The scale is not an accurate representation o

Twenty Five Days

I am all about self-help. I have always had a difficult time asking anyone for anything, so I made it a practice of figuring out how to help myself. Usually, not with the best results. Until recently, I never really went too deep while trying to solve a problem. I wanted the quick fix and the easy answer. It wasn’t until I went to therapy last year that I went deep and got the help and the answers that I needed. Up until that point, however, I looked for the answers in self-help books. I’m sure over the years I purchased dozens of them. I’d read the book and expect magical results. I’d expect my entire life to change. Again, looking for the quick fix. I learned that simply reading the book w

Twenty Six Days

Another Monday. I have worked in Contract Administration for about 23 years and I often think about how people can sometimes fall into careers. I didn’t even know what a Contract Administrator was when I got my first job working for a defense contractor, and yet … here I am. When I first became a Contract Administrator, I was excited and eager to learn all I can and to do a good job. I would happily work 12-hour days, come in on the weekends – whatever it took. The administrators at the company that I worked for were admired and revered. Nothing happened at that company unless one of the contract administrators said so. It was a cool gig and being part of that group made me feel like one of

Twenty Seven Days

Money. Everyone wants it. Everyone has it – some more than others. No one wants to talk about it. At least not in a real way. I was married twice and not once did I have a real conversation about money, finances, saving, etc. with either of my husbands. If you can’t talk about money with the person you sleep with there’s a problem. A real problem. My money story is probably not something that is unique. I had no idea what my family’s financial situation was when I was growing up. As a child, I don’t think I was supposed to know. We ate every day. We got new school clothes in the fall and I always got a new Easter outfit. If we were broke, it didn’t feel that way. However, I was never taught

Twenty Eight Days

I used to believe that I had a love-hate relationship with social media. I loved it because it is a great way to stay connected to people. I hated it because it seemed that everyone was either trying to sell me something or make me believe that their “amazing” lives were real. It all seemed so superficial and fake. Sometimes I get in a funk and just stay off socials all together. Then there are other times (like now) when I am fully engaged. What I realized was that it was not a love-hate relationship at all. It was the imposter syndrome. Believing I have something of value to say but not believing that anyone would care. Fearful that people would figure out that I am not anything special an

Twenty Nine Days

I love the idea of learning something new. I didn’t think I would love it – but I do. What I mean is that I’m not a naturally curious person. I enjoy routine and I’m not particularly comfortable with change. However, almost a month ago I decided to eliminate meat completely from my diet and I had to re-learn how to eat and how to cook. There have been times in the past when I have given up meat for a specific period of time and I would just eat salads and pasta – easy, right? Well, that’s fine for a short period of time but can get boring quickly. I’m not interested in faux meat. In my mind, if I’m going to eat something that is processed to make me think its meat – I may as well just eat me

Thirty Days

When did you know that you were grown-grown? I don’t mean grown. I mean grown-grown. Only people who are actually grown-grown, know exactly what I’m talking about. As I journey to 56, I can’t help but look back and reflect on the road that got me to this point. When I was 17 and moved to Boston for college, I thought I was grown. Chronologically, I suppose I was. I was a high school graduate and I wasn’t under my parent’s roof, however, they were still paying the bills and responsible for me albeit from afar. Less than two years later, I was back under their roof. Clearly, I was not grown. When I was 20 I once again moved out of my parent’s house and into my own apartment. Surely, I was grow

Thirty One Days

I was 48 years old when I embraced the idea that “it’s never too late”. Now, almost 8 years later I am still a firm believer. When I was 48 in 2012 there was a lot going on in my life. My daughter had just left for college, I had taken my first solo trip to Chicago and I started my journey as a natural body builder. My daughter leaving for college was huge. We did so much to prepare for that moment. Her entire senior year was jam packed with activities – it was exhausting. If not for her, definitely for me. Saying good-bye to her in the parking lot of her college campus was emotionally draining and we both realized that our relationship was changing forever. In a good way. It was an ending i

Thirty-two Days

My youngest celebrated her 26th birthday yesterday. Her birthday always reminds me that mine is right around the corner. Thirty-two days away to be exact. My 56th year … I’m not going to go on and on about how time flies – blah blah blah. We know that. I don’t know what 56 is supposed to feel like all I know is what I feel like. It changes from day to day. Physically, I feel great. I have recently decided to become a vegetarian and the reason is simple: extra large turkey wings. I bought turkey wings one day and they were as big as my head. I couldn’t fathom how that wing got that big and I couldn’t reconcile putting it into my body. It actually scared me. I hate to waste anything so I tried

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