One Day

Here we are … 30+ days of consistent, intentional blogging is complete. The biggest lesson that I learned is that I can do it. I can write every single day, but it is not by magic, it is by being intentional and committing to a goal. I certainly did not feel like writing everyday and I did not always have something profound to share but I sat down and wrote something. Commitment is not always about doing what you want to do, it’s about doing what you committed to do. I say this about relationships all the time: commitment is stronger than love. Even on the days that I hate you, I am still committed. I’m not exactly sure how I feel about that because I’ve never been able to carry that out. Bu

Two Days

Relationships. Relationships. Relationships. If there is one topic that we cannot stop talking about it is relationships. Could it be because we absolutely have no idea what we’re doing in relationships? Or do we? I have discovered late in life that if we would stop comparing our relationships to the relationships of others than we would have much greater success. There is no perfect relationship and we should stop trying to reach perfection in this area. A successful relationship is when two people can be themselves one hundred percent of the time with each other; two people who are not afraid to be honest with each other and feel safe doing so. Over the years I have found myself in relatio

Three Days

One of my favorite television shows is The Walking Dead. Don’t ask me why. I haven’t watched in a long time but occasionally, thanks to Netflix, I can go back and watch old episodes. The constant battle to stay alive during a zombie apocalypse was entertaining to me. This morning I heard a sermon by Tony Evans about Ezekiel and the dry bones (Ezekiel 37:1-14) and it really had me thinking about how sometimes we are walking, talking dead people. Just walking through life like zombies. On automatic pilot, with no energy, no fire, no excitement, and no hope. As I look back over my life and I examine the times when I felt most alive, it was during those times when I was working toward something

Four Days

I’m reading The Big Leap in an attempt to find my Zone of Genius. According to the author, the Zone of Genius is the set of activities you are uniquely suited to do. They draw upon your special gifts and strengths. I already know that finding my genius zone is going to be a challenge. It’s going to take some intentional effort to peel away the layers of gunk to hopefully find what I am looking for. In the book, the author directs the reader to ask several questions in order to find the elusive Zone of Genius. The first question is: What do I most love to do? I love it so much I can do it for hours without getting tired or bored. Why is this question so difficult to answer? Off the top of my

Five Days

The biggest lie that anyone has ever told is: “I didn’t/don’t have a choice”. Every single day we make hundreds, maybe thousands, of choices as we go through the day. What we will wear, what we will eat, where we will go, etc. Most choices we make without even thinking about it. Then we have the choices that require some thought. Choices like, where we want to go to school, where we will work, what car we will purchase. Then there are the more difficult choices. Choices like will I get married, will I get divorced, will I have children. All choices. Choices that we freely make in order to change or improve the quality of our lives. It is sad to me when I hear someone say that they don’t have

Six Days

It is often said that we are our own worst critics. I get it. I mean no one can tear me down like I can tear myself down. But why? In my opinion, we have enough “haters” out there and we don’t have to be the first one on the list. We have to have the ability to love ourselves and lift ourselves up when no one else will. We have to learn how to validate ourselves and not rely on the word of another person to tell us how awesome we are. This is not to be confused with being conceited or arrogant. It’s about knowing who you are and believing in that. We are not always going to get it right but that is no reason to mercilessly beat yourself up. As I journey to 56, I am intentionally being kinder

Eight Days

No one looks forward to having a difficult conversation. The truth is a difficult conversation will always be difficult and putting it off will not make the conversation any easier to initiate or to receive. As adults, in order to get the things that we need, sometimes we have to have those difficult conversations. Historically, I have not always been able to initiate a difficult conversation in an honest way. I would be passive aggressive or manipulative in order to ensure the outcome that I desired. Or I would simply avoid the conversation, allow my frustration to build until I would ultimately explode over something small. For example, the argument that finally ended my second marriage wa

Nine Days

I have lived long enough and have experienced enough in my life to be able to say beyond a shadow of a doubt, that everything will be okay. It doesn’t always feel like it when you’re going through it, but I’ve learned not to trust my feelings. Feelings are fickle. Feelings are not facts. Whatever it is … you’ve got this. Hold on. Don’t give up. Everything will be okay.

Ten Days

If you're like me you have done some spring cleaning. It's called spring cleaning because it's the end of winter, we're coming out of a hibernation of sorts, the snow is melting (depending on what part of the country you live in), the flowers are blooming and everything seems new and fresh and we want our surroundings to be new and fresh, so we do our spring cleaning. I tend to do spring cleaning whenever the spirit moves me -- and that could be at any time. Historically, I have been the kind of person who wants to hold on to things "just in case". Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hoarder by any stretch of the imagination but I may still have the cap and gown that my son graduated in and he gra

Eleven Days

I knew at age 17 that I wanted to be a mother. I remember the day very clearly. I was laying across my bed and I just had this feeling. I can’t describe it, but it was a strong, unmistakable feeling and I thought to myself, “I can’t wait to have kids of my own.” I wanted something in my life that would just love me. I’m not going to get into why at 17, I felt like I wasn’t loved. That’s a therapy session for another blog. This one is about motherhood. Back then, girls my age were having babies. I knew I didn’t want to do it that way. I’ve always been very independent and enjoyed making my own money and doing things on my own. I did not want to be a mother who couldn’t financially provide for

Twelve Days

If money were no object … I would not work a conventional 9-5 job just to get a check. I would do something that was personally fulfilling as well as professionally fulfilling. I would have a second home on a beach in New England where I would spend the summer and autumn (end of May – mid-October) because autumns in New England are beautiful and are unmatched. I would take three months each year just to travel and I would fly private because commercial air travel is for suckers. I would have a state-of-the-art home gym and a personal trainer to come train me three times a week. When I was younger, I fantasized about building a house for teenaged mothers. I think what I would do now, instead

Thirteen Days

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus – Philippians 4:6-7 Are your prone to worry? I used to know someone who told me that worrying is in their nature and they could not help themselves. When I hear those types of things, I try really hard not to be judgmental, because everyone is different, and everyone has their own experiences to draw on. I get that. However, I also know that God has not given us a spirit of fear. I know that he has given us power, love, and a sound mind. So, no, worry is n

Fourteen Days

I consider myself to be somewhat of a foodie. I do not just like to eat; I really appreciate food. The smells, the textures, the tastes – all of it. I love the work that goes into preparing an amazing meal whether I am doing it myself or it is being done for me. I am fascinated by the fact that a few simple ingredients can turn into something amazing. For example, last night I combined San Marzano peeled tomatoes, extra virgin olive oil, fresh garlic, Italian seasonings, red chili flakes and salt and created a sauce that is better than anything you would find in a jar, for less money. I then used the sauce for an eggplant parmesan that will make you cry. It was not always this way. Growing u

Fifteen Days

It seems that the term “self-care” is a really hot topic these days and has been for a while now. It can mean so many things to different people though. It’s interesting to me, though that mostly women stress the importance of self-care … probably because men have never had a problem taking care of themselves. But that is a blog for another day. For me, self-care is so much more than long bubble baths and facials. Those things are nice, but self-care has to be about taking care of your entire self. Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Keeping in mind that when we take care of ourselves, we are in a much better

Sixteen Days

I ran another five miles this morning. Most mornings I just run and don’t think about time or pace. It is a time to clear my head and the best way for me to start the day. However, I find when I’m running with someone else the competitive side of me comes to the surface. It’s a friendly competition but still a competition. In this case, the competition is great because it is forcing me to work harder instead of staying in my running comfort zone. This morning I was determined to finish the five miles with negative splits. This was a conscious effort and I had to focus on my breathing and my pace. There is a huge amount of self-control that is required to pull this off. I had to really start

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