Accountable to Myself
I had to run today.
My normal routine is to run on Tuesday and Thursday mornings with BGR! We get together at 5am and I usually run between 4 – 5 miles. It’s my way of being accountable. If I commit to run with you then I will be there. I’m respectful of other people’s time and I don’t like to let folks down.
Today, however, is Sunday. For the better part of yesterday I kept telling myself that I needed to run. I kept looking at the forecast and I saw that it wasn’t going to be above 30 degrees in the morning. But still, I had to run. So, I got up early I tried to wait until about 8am when I thought it might get a little warmer, but I was dressed and ready to go by 7:45ish so I left.
I usually run in silence. I stopped listening to music last year because it was too distracting somehow. I wanted to focus more on the run and getting faster. Today I listened to one of those guided runs on the Nike+ app. The coach was talking and reminding me to start out easy and let my pace naturally increase as my body warmed up. You know, listening to that coach on that app led me to one of my best runs ever.
I mean, I started off nice and easy and ended up with negative splits and I wasn’t even going for negative splits:
I learned a couple of things today. First, I had to run today in order to learn how to be accountable to myself. It’s easy for me to show up when someone is expecting me but what about when no one is expecting me? No one would have known that I bailed on a run today. I had to prove that I could be accountable to myself. After all, that’s all that really matters anyway. Am I the kind of person that can do what is expected even when no one is around to witness it? I believe I am.
Second, people are good. Let me explain: for the most part, I am not a people person and generally do not like people. I know how that sounds … #notsorry. Especially on social media – people are just the worst when they can hide behind a screen. But today when I was out running, I passed a lady who was also running, and she smiled and said good morning. I ran by a guy who was putting air in his tire and he yelled, “Go! Go! Go!” I ran by another couple who smiled and waved and finally I ran by an older white gentleman and he smiled and gave me a thumbs up. All this encouragement on the road was the coolest thing ever. People are good.
Third, some runs will be good. Some will suck. Some runs, like today’s run will be epic. But I’ll never be able experience any of it unless I make a decision to be accountable to myself.