I am not afraid of confrontation. I don’t go looking for it, but I don’t run away from it either. When I was a young woman, I had not yet learned how to choose my battles. I did not know how decide which confrontation was worth my time and which confrontation wasn’t.
As a young woman, I believed that winning arguments was my superpower. It was my way of staying strong. It was a defense mechanism. I had to have the last word every single time. Back then it was more important to be right than to be happy. I have terminated so many relationships over petty things that probably weren’t even worth arguing over.
Thankfully, my experiences (and therapy) have given me some wisdom and I am grateful that I have changed. My philosophy now is “peace over everything”. Nothing is worth losing my peace. When faced with the decision to engage in a confrontation, I ask myself first: what is the desired outcome? The answer to that question guides me in my decision. There are people out there who just want to test you to see how far they can go. To them, I say “You gets none, here!”
I’m not doing it. Don’t get me wrong, I am more than capable of standing up for myself and I will not allow someone to walk over me or take me for granted. However, everything is not an argument. Everyone is not out to get me.
As I journey to 56, I have learned the importance of choosing my battles in order to maintain peace.