Thirty-two Days

My youngest celebrated her 26th birthday yesterday. Her birthday always reminds me that mine is right around the corner. Thirty-two days away to be exact.

My 56th year … I’m not going to go on and on about how time flies – blah blah blah. We know that. I don’t know what 56 is supposed to feel like all I know is what I feel like. It changes from day to day.

Physically, I feel great. I have recently decided to become a vegetarian and the reason is simple: extra large turkey wings. I bought turkey wings one day and they were as big as my head. I couldn’t fathom how that wing got that big and I couldn’t reconcile putting it into my body. It actually scared me. I hate to waste anything so I tried to eat the wings, but I just couldn’t. So, on August 20, 2020 I stopped eating meat. I thought about going full vegan, but I love cheese. Maybe one day.

I have not been back to the gym since COVID-19 has taken over our lives. I am getting in my cardio by running several times a week. I’ll always be a runner. I’m also getting into the habit of practicing yoga on Sunday mornings.

I’m grateful for my health. In January, I had a health scare. Thankfully, it turned out to be nothing, however, before I received the final test results it was terrifying. Then BOOM – Corona Virus comes to town. We’ve been dealing with this pandemic for more than six months and I’m grateful that my loved ones have remained safe and healthy during this time.

Mentally, I’m doing so much better. I had my last therapy session at the beginning of July. That was 10 good months of working out issues that have not been dealt with for 30 years. The therapy was intense at times but so worth it. I had an amazing therapist and I highly recommend therapy to anyone that is thinking about it. Of course, COVID has had an affect on my mental health. Not being able to travel or celebrate birthdays or holidays sucks. I am an introvert so it hasn’t been horrible but every once in a while, a meal in a restaurant with my sister or boyfriend would be nice. On the other hand, I have been doing a ton of cooking and I’m loving every second of that.

As I get older, one thing that I definitely notice is that I don’t have any compulsion to people-please. I am committed to doing those things that I only truly want to do. Life is too short to fake it.

My kids are grown and are living beautifully, successful lives. My work is done. From the moment that my first child was born I was certain that all I had to do was raise them. I didn’t have any high aspirations other than to be a good mother and I did that.

Thirty-two days until 56. It’s funny, when I turned 26, I told myself, “It’s all downhill from here”. What a strange thought to have at such an early age. Now, 30 thirty years later, I feel like it can only get better.

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