Relationships. Relationships. Relationships.
If there is one topic that we cannot stop talking about it is relationships. Could it be because we absolutely have no idea what we’re doing in relationships? Or do we?
I have discovered late in life that if we would stop comparing our relationships to the relationships of others than we would have much greater success. There is no perfect relationship and we should stop trying to reach perfection in this area.
A successful relationship is when two people can be themselves one hundred percent of the time with each other; two people who are not afraid to be honest with each other and feel safe doing so. Over the years I have found myself in relationships that felt more like competitions. Too much game playing, too much insecurity, too much baggage, too much mistrust. Just too much. Period.
It was exhausting and it was not until I decided not to be exhausted anymore that things changed. That and therapy. I’ve learned that when I’m feeling some type of way in a relationship to look at myself first instead of being so quick to point fingers. I’ve also learned to trust my gut and to not invalidate my feelings if something feels off. It’s a balancing act.
I’m currently in a healthy relationship and it doesn’t look like any relationship that I have had in the past and it doesn’t look like any relationship that anyone I know has. But it works for us.
As I journey to 56, I accept that my relationships may not be “perfect”, but they will always be perfect for me.